Before I get into any E3 goodness, I want to quickly send some happy Internet thoughts to the spirit of Ray Bradbury; he died this morning at the age of 91. Yes, it’s sad news, but he did manage to live to a ripe old age, and left us with plenty of great writing to remember him by. Truth be told, I haven’t read nearly as much Bradbury as I should. Maybe this will spur me to dig into his collection a bit more. Though I guess he probably wouldn’t care at this point. Whatever… I may do it anyway.

So. The three E’s! Or as I like to call it, Eastern Equine Encephalitis. Gosh… who’d have thought so many people would be so eager to catch a brain disease for horses? I could waste a lot of your time and my time by posting gobs of videos here, but I’ll be nice and only waste a fraction of our time. There’s a handful of games that I’m super excited about, starting with…

Yeah! Dawnguard. I’m sure a lot of you are looking forward to rocking it vampire-style, but frankly I’m most psyched to get my Khajit paws on that crossbow. I’m gonna shoot me TONS of vampires. And it will be crossbow-tastic. Todd Howard sez that it’s 10 to 20 hours of content for us, which is funny because for most games that’s a lot of content, but compared to the 271 hours I’ve put into Skyrim thus far, 20 hours sounds like a drop in the Elder Scrolls bucket. I am a little confused, because the rumor mill (before any Dawnguard info had arrived) had convinced me that Dawnguard was going to involve frost elves… those chumps otherwise known as the Falmer. Interestingly, Howard doesn’t confirm or deny the importance of Falmer in this DLC, so as not to be all spoilery for people. I can’t wait to get Dawnguard, but it looks like I’ll be waiting longer than any XBOX 360 owners. Have fun with that, guys. I and my lowly PC will have to wait until later this summer.

Next up, Assassin’s Creed 3:

Not much to say except fighting with tomahawks looks GREAT. Oh, and there’s naval warfare!

I’m thinking I’ll have an easier time with this naval warfare than I did with Empire: Total War. Don’t get me wrong… I love the Total War games. I just suck at them. I still have fun playing, but I am no master tactician.

There’s this Star Wars 1313 game that looks pretty sexy…

http://youtu.be/U08QNPk0ZNE

I didn’t bother with any of The Force Unleashed, but I am hopeful about 1313, especially if LucasArts is serious about going with a “darker tone” for the game. And so the big question is… do we get lightsabers? And really, is LucasArts obligated to have lightsabers in every game they produce? The answer to the previous question is “yes.”

The Last Of Us looks super cool, from what little they’re showing us. I definitely want to see more, but it doesn’t sound like they’re very close to a release date.

Watch Dogs looks like fun…

…and is that the GTA IV engine they’re using? Because it looks really beautiful. And yes, being a badass hacker with a collapsible baton is something on my bucket list.

And, of course, there’s this:

[UPDATE: Kotaku has first impressions after playing the South Park RPG. It sounds very promising! http://kotaku.com/5916076/the-south-park-rpg-looks-vulgar-and-wonderful]

It’s made by Obsidian! Matt and Trey aren’t screwing around.

Oh, and I suppose, while you’re watching these videos, you’ll see the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter trailer. I hate to say it, but I am sorely disappointed with this trailer. I read the book, and I loved how low-key the book was with its treatment of Abe and his vampire revenge obsession. It was written like a fairly straight-forward biography. This movie looks anything but low-key; actually, it looks like goofy garbage. I don’t know… I haven’t seen much else by this Timur Bekmambetov fellow; Wanted was fairly forgettable, and my friend Guak says it’s nothing like the comic books. And I never bothered with Night Watch or Day Watch, so I don’t know what I’m missing. The trailer for AL:VH doesn’t really do it for me, either. I think I’ll pass. I highly recommend the book, however.

A couple more things, and then you’re free:

You can buy your very own Iron Throne! As long as you’ve got a cool 30 grand to drop on it, HBO says it’s yours to sit (and brood) in. No word on if you can buy your very own Joffrey yet, but who’d want to do that? I watched the season 2 finale the other day, and I’m not ashamed to admit that one of my favorite scenes (MINOR SPOILER ALERT) is where Tywin Lannister’s horse dooks right on the palace floor. I love you, Game of Thrones; I don’t know how I’ll be able to wait a whole year for you to come back. Just make sure to remember to bring naked Natalie Dormer with you.

And there’s this really neat animated short I found this morning on io9. It’s about a little girl hunting the fox who killed her birds. I find I’m getting more and more sentimental, the older I get. Is this a thing that happens? I give myself ten more years until I start crying during phone commercials. That should be entertaining for anyone nearby.

Oh yeah, and Prometheus comes out in the U.S. this week. I should have plenty of non-spoilery things to say next week. Peace out.

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